Go to work

Do your job

Don’t ask too many questions

Put your fucking life at risk and be thankful for the opportunity to be do so.

We’ll give you a vaccine and keep you waiting months then for the second.

Am I essential or expendable? A question he asked already knowing the goddamn answer. That’s one thing about having a drunk for a father, you’ll be ready for the shit, the fear, frustration and the fucking world.

Expendable, that’s as good a word as any. Fucked up and forgotten about. That’s the thing too, too often are the good ones left out in the cold. It was too much for me to hope that this would bring us all closer together. The richest men in the world all grew richer and richer as their fellow man died in the hundreds of thousands. Fear, isolation and death are what we got while they got money, increased stock prices and a new super yacht to boot.

I know that life is never easy and plain sailing but does it have to constantly try to beat us down and want us to stay there. This pandemic can go fuck itself, we’ve been suffering enough of this already we need to look forward to the future again and end the days of masking up all day long.

Go to work, do your job and don’t ask too many questions. I’m only 25 but I see that living like this will steal your spirit, crush your creativity and leave you with nothing in your soul. I don’t know what I have to do but it can’t be this forever. Go to work, do your job and don’t ask too many questions. I’ve waited over 110 days to get fully vaccinated but I get no answers or reasoning. Maybe I won’t show up to work, maybe that’ll show em. Most likely it’ll get me fired and fucked BUT I won’t get rich from this, I won’t get famous or be recognised. All I’ve got is whatever I can muster at the end of the day.

Work days, nights, weekends and holidays. What for, why do I do it. Missing Christmas with my family, no new years eve celebrations most years, asked to work anytime, even on our days off we get messaged and phone calls. Who are they to think their time is so much more valuable than mine. The long hours and the responsibility of it all, what the hell is the reason. For the most of it all the majority of Healthcare workers are underpaid and under appreciated. I don’t want a lot but I want some consistency and REAL appreciation for my work. Some day I’ll be an old man, hopefully I’ll have done enough now that when that day comes I look back fondly rather than with regret of a life wasted. That’s not happening with me anyway that’s for sure.

Go to work

Do your job

Don’t ask too many questions


  1. As Warren Zevon said in his song Bill Lee ‘ you’re supposed to sit on your ass and nod at stupid things’.. certainly a lot of truth in what you are saying.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Felt this way over and over again this last year and a half. And honestly, not only now but for some years during my working life so far. Life is short and can end any minute. There is no meaning in dealing with our everyday life as if it is a torture. No meaning at all. Thank you for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well thank you E.T. for your words! That’s it it’s all about finding a balance and a way of managing it all. I’m still trying to figure it out but I know I’m not alone at least.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I used to work in the field and was considered essential. I couldn’t hug my mother the last years of her life because of it. I had to stand on the other side of a glass door and speak through cell phones like she was in prison. They would call me in on days I had requested off because people who didn’t want to work that holiday would just call out. I left because my boss at the time (she had just started) wanted to open admissions to general public (I was not in a hospital setting), without a previous negative covid test. Suddenly this person would able stay in a room with staff doing everything for them, whivh is not the purposed of what we were supposed to be doing. But she decided this over Zoom from her living room – and then said that the first client was coming in on X day which was two weeks in the future. and then she said that she ordered PPE for us (I got N-95 masks from a doctor when I took one of consumers to them). We ran out of latex gloves before Covid and she refused to order more and then Covid and we couldnt. So we had two weeks before she was going to start taking people without covid tests, and PPE was ordered and wasn’t expected for 2.5 months. She announed this cheerily as if we were supposed to thank her for trying to sign us up to get sick. I hated doing it but I decided it wasn’t worth it. Covid and my job kept me away from my mom in the last months of her life. I now had my sister, her baby and my father living wtih me – they came first. More power to you. I don’t know how you’re still doing it. And just because…why not: “Praise be to Nero’s Neptune/ The Titanic sails at dawn.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s really been sad hearing how many people have left the Healthcare field and I completely understand why. The issues seen to be the same all over usually with management not understanding or caring for their staff. That’s an absolutely horrible situation to be put in and I cannot imagine the pain felt from that. They know we’re caring people and that gets taken advantage of so often.

      I’m just sick of hearing on TV how essential we are and the monthly memos all saying we’re doing great in mad circumstances yet there’s barely and time off and when you express a desire for a break you get “we’re understaffed”. I understand why people leave this sector or don’t want to get into it in the first place. Honestly the only reason I’m still here is at the end of the day I know I’ve helped my residents and I don’t even know what else to go and do with myself. I’d love to hear what leaving felt like and what you’re up to now since you left that TOXIC work environment. The fact that you guys were put in danger from a person in their little office or their own home, I’ve honestly never felt more expendable and like a body to fill a slot.

      Thank you for sharing your story here with me, as awful as it is it’s comforting in a way that it’s not just me, lots of us are suffering. Talking it out might change things and if not it might help our mental health also.


      1. I’m in a COVID conscious office jobs now. I work for two law firms simultaneously.

        I hated leaving because I knew the consumers and the other staff were not going to be properly protected, but I had to do what was right for me. At that point, it was a top priority. I had just lost my mother about 3 weeks before, and the director of the program called me down to her office the day I returned to tell me that she understands what I’m going through and if I need anything to just ask, but then didn’t stop talking about her, her daughter, or the people she has lost and the eulogies she had to give (none of the people were immediate family I might add). Then, after 40 minutes of listening to her talk about… her, she summarily dismissed me. When I did try to go to her because I was having some difficulty with minor emotional regulation (one of the consumers found out about my mom by over hearing us in the staff office), he decided to keep coming for that exact spot. I wanted to clock him, so I went to her to let her know that this was happening. She cut me off about two sentences in to tell me how in her previous job (which was not with people, obviously) she dealt with a lot of this and you just have to ignore it. My mother died a week and a half before this – I wanted to knock his teeth down his throat, but I just have to deal with it? I told her she had to work on her listening skills. Went to my manager and she handled it. Turns out, he didn’t know it was so recent, he thought we were just talking about me losing my mom and he thought he could piss me off by using it. He liked to make staff angry. I wasn’t getting angry I just wanted to punch him and then cry. It was too soon.

        It felt horrible to leave, but also like a major weight was lifted off my shoulders. I spent a lot of time getting lectures for training staff that I was working with, but they didn’t. If the staff had questions to come to them. Staff don’t know they have questions until they do it wrong! ugh… and we were dealing with medication – you CAN’T get that wrong! So… stupid. When I left I felt like I wasn’t responsible for keeping the people in our care alive because everyone else was phoning it in. We were dealing with people with drug addictions and serious mental health issues. You just can’t get those medications wrong.

        ” I know I’ve helped my residents” what do you do? I got the impression you worked in a hospital, but you say residents. And I’m willing to talk and listen if you’re willing to listen and talk yourself. That’s how it works with me, or haven’t you noticed that my average comment is about 9000000 words long? LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks for sharing so much there, it seems we’re taken for granted and expendable all over doesn’t it. That’s an absolutely horrible work environment to be dealing with. After such a massive loss that’s awful to have to put up with. I’m very sorry for your loss also I can’t even begin to imagine how upsetting and troubling that loss must be. I’ve gotten the whole oh poor me off managers and people in higher up roles. Instead of active listening they’re on the defensive and want you to know how hard they have it. I’ve definitely been there before and right now currently. It’s taking app of my strength and patience just to get up and do my shifts. So many 50 and 60 hour shifts, I work in Residential care services for adults with disabilities and challenging behaviours.
        I keep getting told were short staffed and people keep leaving but why do I or we the floor staff have to always bear the weight of that.

        I feel like I’m cast out to sea and if I sink they send in another body to fill my spot. Its a little overwhelming and genuinely hearing your story and how you’re getting on now has given me some hope and optimism that I can get through it and find a better position. I just want to say thank you for that and keep the 90000000 word comments coming they’re very insightful


      3. “Residential care services for adults with disabilities and challenging behaviours.”

        Do you mean Autism?

        ” I just want to say thank you for that and keep the 90000000 word comments coming they’re very insightful”

        You’re welcome, and truthfully, I’m not sure I’m very good at less than that on most comments. Sometimes I’m able to keep it to about 5 or 6 words less, but that’s fairly rare LOL

        I used to work with Autism in adults and willingly work 65 hour weeks so that I could bank vacation. My primary job (40 hours a week) was in the vocational department, but the extra hours came from working residential for the same organization. I loved working there, but it was tough. When you’re tired especially. Giving up weekends, all of it. But I did it. I got the time I needed and was told I couldn’t go. I refused to miss it and that’s how they lost me. That, and there was no upwards momentum. I was trained by my manager to take over for him when he left. They picked someone else. I also worked residential and could do everything there was to do in that area as well There was one director who saw that. She was opening a new house, and had me go over there every evening to help set it up for the individuals coming in and train the staff properly. She offered me the position of manager of the house which I gladly accepted. We did the paperwork and it came time for me to get the job, HR said no and then she got terminated. I still don’t know why. She wasn’t the director that had stealing or anything going on at her houses – that was actually all under one director, and that directer kept their job.

        In the end, they made it perfectly clear that I was not going to move anywhere because I did a great job where I was and that I made sure everyone around me did a great job. That’s not my job until you pay me for it – you want to pay someone else to do the job, fine. Do that. When they brought the new manager in at that job I told the rest of the staff (which I chose and helped train – every one of them) that I wasn’t going to act as number 2 anymore, we had to give the new manager a chance and to show her what we had. She was sinking and the staff voted me to step up. I assisted and was told by the manager to sit back down and mind my business. I told them to take it to the director. They did – and nothing happened but a lecture by the director that she picked the manager and we should respect that. The team actually started to fracture. Then HR told me I wasn’t allowed to go on my vacation so I submitted my 2 weeks notice (last day was the day before my vacation started – they tried to make it take longer than that but I went to HR and demanded a meeting so I wasn’t “abandoning my job”). They gave me the NO I submitted my “have a lovely time without me”. By the time I got back from vacation (it was 14 days!) there wasn’t one staff that I hired still at the program. They all left because they couldn’t work for the manager. Last I heard, they restaffed, manager couldn’t train because she didn’t believe it was her job to know the consumers in her program, a lot of injuries to staff. Those staff left and they had to terminate the manager. I got a call out of the blue to come back – not as a manager, but in my old position with the very lovely offer to train a whole new staff of my choosing and a new director. No extra money. And I’d be considered a new hire. So the few raises they could “afford” for the staff and I had accumulated would just disappear, as would my banked sick time that they found some reason not to pay me out for. I said no. To this day, I can’t figure out how I could possibly have said no to that amazing offer 🙄

        Then I got the other job with mental illness and drug addiction, which I explained before. It was…. a lot of fun.

        I miss it terribly, but in a lot of ways, this office job is so much better. There, I hated the atmosphere but loved the job. Here I hate the job but enjoy the atmosphere. When you’re younger, it’s easier to put up with the nonsense because of the passion of the job. When you’re older you realize you don’t have to love the job, you just have to be able to get through the day without getting hurt or being treated like an expendable pawn every day.

        I get that I could get back into my chosen field, but I’m not ready to get back into that… lions den. I’m still healing from too much to deal with managers and directors who have nothing but what seems like ill-will toward me. I realize it’s not me personally, it’s the whole staff, but when you’re healing you need time to not be a pawn in someone else’s game (with rules you don’t know) and still be able to eat.

        “I feel like I’m cast out to sea and if I sink they send in another body to fill my spot.”

        If you truly love what you do, think of it this way: you may be treading water a lot of the time, but if your work fulfills you, then it’s worth the extra effort until it’s not. I put up with a lot in both jobs because I loved what I did. Until I couldn’t do it anymore because I started to sink. Tread the water, do your job the best you can do. You know when you’re head’s under water more than above it. No job is worth drowning over no matter how much you love it. Tread water, do what makes you happy otherwise until your legs are too tired and you start to go under more often than you’re comfortable with. When that happens, you have to get to shore. Put your resume out and head for shore. Don’t actually get out of the sea until you’re lined up to do so, but at least in shallower water you can still do your job, but you don’t have to drown to do it – you can reach the bottom and push up if you go under. When you get that other job, get out of the sea all together. It will be nearly impossible to walk away from the consumers and leave them because you don’t want to, but it’s time to dry out and find something less…. wet. All new jobs take a while to put you in the boat and cast you out to sea. So you’ll have a break from swimming for a while so you don’t have to leave your field – just where you currently are. If you want something different, then apply to something different. Even the good places put you in water, but sometimes, it’s only a puddle and that’s easy after so long being in the sea.

        But as you said, they don’t care if you sink/drown, they just find someone else who has the energy to tread water for a little while until they need someone else. YOU have to know when you’ve had enough. YOU have to know when you’re in danger of drowning. To them, whether you drown or go to shore, they’ll fill that spot. You’re the one that goes under or saves yourself. know what you can and can’t do. Then follow that path.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Some of the people I work with have autism, some learning disability, down syndrome there’s a bit mix around the houses I’ve worked in. That’s such a common and cruel thing that happens all over, promises of an easier tomorrow that never comes so you don’t think about how hard today is. I’m angry for you the way they led you on with the promise of career development only to have you undercut, I don’t see the logic behind any of it.

        It almost seems like the ones who give the most and make themselves available get penalised for it in return. Can I just say on your behalf that those managers are only pond scum and I hope Karma whoops their asses. I’m happy you left that situation, it’s giving me hope. I’m glad that they came crawling back, that must’ve been so satisfying to give them a no to that awful awful offer they should’ve been giving you a raise and all you’re old benefits and more. There’s no logic to any of what they’ve done there and unfortunately it’s a too familiar story for me.

        “hated the atmosphere and loved the job” 👏 well said, I often feel if the managers would only lead instead or order and not constantly belittle and not appreciate the work I’d be such a happier person. Helping people is one of the best things to do in life and some days I feel like I’m just being punished. That’s what I want now, I’ve paid my dues for over 5 years since I was 20, I’ve missed Christmas’s, holidays, birthdays, occasions and lost time with my loved ones just to be marginalised.

        You’ve got a lot of advice and wisdom here and I am completely here for it. Thank you again for taking your time to help another person who’s position you’ve been in. I’m just a person on the Internet and you reached out to help. Hey if you’re ever dissatisfied with your job now you’d be a great motivational speaker, counsellor or therapist. So much good and use able advice right there that I will take HIGHLY into consideration. I can see from just here that you’re a highly compassionate and committed person and whatever company let you go lost out big time. I have to start putting myself first more.


      5. Thank you fo all of those kind words. And yes, I care – that’s why I’m good at what I did. Not to sound too self rightous, but I was DAMNED good at it too. Had some of the best results in the job. But that’s their loss.

        Saying no simultaneously felt AMAZING and broke my heart. I was chosing to not go back to the consumers I loved because someone who was not them was a jerk. But after the intial arse kicking that gave me, I mended and moved on. I still miss them, but that’s OK – it’s a small world. When my mother was alive she ended up in a physical rehab center after hospitalization. The rehab woman recognized her last name and asked if she knew me. I was the staff for her brother who was considered non-verbal becasue he would never call anyone by their names and only spoke in movie quotes. But after I left he said my name a lot. She remembered me and asked if I would see her brother. I almost fell apart on the spot and almost screamed YES in her face LOL this was probably a good 7 or 8 years after I left that job. She remembered my name because he spoke about me… that’s huge. She said it’s the only name he’s ever said! And when I saw him he screamed my name and she almost had a heart attack because he ran up to me jumped up and down and tapped my shoulder (he doesn’t do touching). There’s hope, and life after the job. And the world is sometimes amazingly and beautifully small.

        ” I have to start putting myself first more.” YES!!!! It took me my entire life, being stepped on at work across a ton of jobs, the death of my mother, the obliteration of all of by boundaries and the destruction of my marriage, but it’s something I learned. Always put yourself first because no one else ever will. It’s a sad truth. But you can’t rely on someone else to know when enough-is-enough, you have to understand that yourself. If you’re only 25, it’s a good thing to learn it at this age, I promise. If you wait, you won’t get around it until you’ve let your life zip by and it feels like you wasted an eternity. And it’s not easy to do, so you can do it over time and without any earth shattering life changes until you’re ready to make them yourself.

        Take care of you.

        And most importantly, if you don’t put yuorself first (which feel very selfish but isn’t), you will wear yourself out. And if you have nothing in your tank for you, what exactly are you able to give the individuals you work with? No matter how many ways you have figured out how to justify giving your very last bit of everything to the consumers and not to yourself, if you think about it, there’s always a part of you that is inaccessible to even them because you’re tired or not feeling good. If you aren’t being taken care of, who is taking care of them? The voice of experience helps others. Actively going through it doesn’t. If you’re trying to help drug addicts and they all know you’re actively on cocaine, you aren’t able to help anyone – you’re probably going to hurt them.

        The one thing you want all other people to do, expecially who you work with, is how to be their own advocate and assist them in advocating for themselves. Advocate for you too. Even if that’s deciding that you’re OK where you are or you’re not. Don’t waste another moment feeling expendable. You don’t have to feel that way, because you’re not. Sit and think for a little while. Do you love what you do? Is it worth dealing with people who are not treating you as good as they could be? If it is, then you’ve made your decision and there’s nothing the managers or supervisors can do to weaken your resolve about what you’re doing and what the benefits are for you. If it’s not, then you’ve made your decision that it doesn’t fit for you anymore and that you should head for shore.

        Its a decision that only you can make. Is it worth it to you? Do you love what you do? Does the job itself make you happy?

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Oh I well believe you were a great carer, and hey if you don’t say it yourself oftentimes you might not be told how good you’re doing at all.

        That’s such a touching story oh my god! The fact that he spoke of you and remembered you means you had an enormous positive impact on his life. That’s such a great story and that’s the stuff that keeps me going. Almost a full decade after you had left the impact you had was still there and that’s such a powerful thing!

        Yeah that’s the thing I want to do is put myself first more. I saw what stress and not putting yourself first has on people and I can’t do that.

        I think what I need to do is find a role potentially in a day service. What’s getting to me is the 50 and 60 + work weeks with no benefit for doing it. Honestly it’s some consistency and routine I want more of in my life because I really do enjoy the work I do, well most of the time anyway haha.

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      7. Just so you know, I have found that day services bleed into all hours. I was a vocational coach. I then worked the residential almost every night. Some days I had to go to a house to get the individuals ready to come to the vocational department and then work there and then go to a house at night. In that field there is no “set schedule”. You can enforce one, but then you feel like you’re abandoning your folks when they need you most – an understaffed house is more dangerous than an understaffed vocational department. They want to work most of the time. They enjoy the challenge of different sites. And even if they don’t themselves speak they can generally understand “you will be helping” and they want to. But if they don’t want to fold their socks all hell will break loose. And there are dangers in a residential setting that aren’t there in a vocational one.

        I found that even if you’re stuck and they’re calling you in, make it clear the days you are willing to put in the extra hours and don’t be stingy. They will work to accommodate you because you are being the most helpful. Something like I have to keep this day off every week. I don’t have a shift scheduled on this day regularly, and I will not come in for an extra one. They generally, magically find someone else. I’d you don’t offer anything, they decide you’re completely expendable. If you offer too much YOU’RE deciding your expendable in your own life. Just be clear about your boundaries and then stick to them. They will try to burst through with sob stories saying that there is NO ONE. Bet you a hundred dollars that they didn’t try. And at worse the manager or director have to do part of their job which is to step in when understaffed and they want to avoid that at all costs. After the 3rd time trying to get you to break your boundaries (at one location anyway) with no result (you MUST answer your phone to say no. You MUST stand firm because the sob stories get worse, and you MUST be able to verify them!! I’ll explain more in a sec), they will stop trying to drag you in and they will find another staff who they haven’t even asked before who has said they want more hours and has been ignored to fill that spot.

        Back to verification. There was one time they called me to go to residential on a day that I said no to. This was the third time I was going to say no. The manager called and I said no. They said one of the individuals had to go to the hospital (very vague, didn’t name the consumer or even why and kinda dodged the questions) and continued on their story of absolute need. I knew who was working and I texted during the call – I don’t know why I did – and asked if a consumer was going to the hospital. I got back “what are you talking about? They’re all watching tv while I’m making dinner!” I asked about the supervisor and if she was there cuz I thought maybe she might know something from on high that the floor staff didn’t know. The supervisor was at home. The other staff didn’t show up so she was called and would have to go in if she couldn’t find anyone by company policy. I thanked the staff for the information and again demanded who had to go to the hospital and why because I would come to take them to the hospital only as I was spending the day with my mother, but I would come for a medical emergency. She said something about she already had someone to take the person and named the staff I was texting with who told me she was making dinner and there was nothing about a medical emergency or hospital visit thay she knew about. Once I stepped foot in that house I would have been on the clock and saying “nope” wasn’t an option or it was abandoning my post mid shift. Doesn’t matter why you’re there, you’re there. I declined and told her that without specifics as to which consumer it was, which hospital she was going to. And what the injury was, I was not going to give up a day with my mom. The manager hung up on me. She then “punished” me because she had to go in by not calling me for 2 days. She couldn’t find anyone else ans was working the shifts herself. Finally called and said she was sorry, she misunderstood the conversation with her staff and thought there was a medical emergency because they were telling her about an incident report due to behavior and she thought they said medical incident report which requires a visit to the hospital. Would I please work. Yes. I did all was back to normal, but my boundaries were respected from that point on. Before I realized I was burning out, I was doing 40 at my normal job during the day, 5 hours a week getting individuals ready to go to vocational, then 35 hours during the week at residential (vocational ended at 4 and the res shift started at 3) and a shift at residential Saturday and a double at residential every Sunday. I was dying and did that like that for three months straight. I couldn’t anymore. So I made Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday the miserable days. Tuesday and Thursday I would go in on the mornings to get them ready, work Voc then do a shift at res. Sun I still did a double. I had short days on mon, wed, and Friday and off on Sat. That was more than enough of my time. That was 24 hours at res a week (4 hours over what is considered a part time job). 64 hours a week felt like a cake walk and I did that for 14 months before my last day. That was just onr house. There were days other houses called me that were not my scheduled days for the res work and I was willing to work because “why not?” And it was a new house (I already new the individuals from my voc program) and it wasn’t going to be a rough night. So one of those extra nights I spent 4 hours with one consumer who wanted to play gin rummy because no one ever would and it was his favorite game. He was good at it too, when he wasn’t purposely making up his own rules 😂 it wasn’t the full four hours. He got bored and his housemate wanted to play war the card game so I played with him in between games of rummy. The other staff was bored so she made ME dinner. She was a great cook but she was on a permanent diet and she loved cooking unhealthy food which she didn’t do for herself or the consumers so she made me an omelet that was to die for. Then before bed, I came up with an idea because no one wanted to go to bed. I came up with a trivia game. They all loved music, so we did the ABC game. First one had A and had to give a title. Couldn’t be anything like “a hard rains gonna fall”. The first word of the title had to start with an a not be an a. I was expecting American pie (who wouldn’t?) and he said “Amish Paradise” be weird al. I almost died on the spot. So random and so great. But I was exercising their brains. Most people exercise their bodies (work related things and whatnot) but few work on tiring out their brains. So I did. The game went 30 mins past their usual bed time (which they never went to sleep at, apparently they’d end up watching tv until 4 hours after bedtime), but after the game they all said goodnight and actually went to bed. The staff was thrilled because it was the first time in 4 years she ever saw it happen and I was miserable because I was enjoying spending time with them. So she decided to entertain me by getting me to help her so one of the extra tasks she had been tasked with forever. We counted Meds until end of my shift. She stayed as she also worked overnight. So what you do and what schedule you keep is up to you. But enforce it and only break it because YOU want to. And if you’re breaking it at a location you normally work, make sure to complain a LOT. Not to consumers but on the call that drags you in about how tou gave your schedule and this is not fair, blah blah blah. Then tell the other staff when no consumers are in ear-shot that they don’t respect your boundaries and blah blah blah. You’re honestly happy to help out (that’s why you said yes) but you don’t want it to turn back into a thing. The manager won’t want to hear it again, and the staff youre working woth knows all of the other staff that wants hours and will gladly provide those names because you’re already doing so much to help out. The people who want extra hours usually only want one extra shift a week and are happy to be called. So the day you’re not there they will step in. And suddenly the staffing dance card is full with you included.

        And if you truly love what you do, that’s the benefit. The only one you will likely ever see from ANY company. You have the power to continue to do what you love while putting in place boundaries that make it consistent. So think about it. What I used to do is on m,w,f when I could sleep in any an hour because I wasn’t going to the house, I would. Then at night, when I came home, I would do something I enjoy. Nothing stressful or tiring. Reading, watching a favorite show or movie, get a bath. Stuff like that. Stuff for me. And my day off I would fill with the people I love. I created a life which I had thought I had given up for my job. I was still working over 70 hours a week, but I suddenly had a lot of free time. Comparatively. And despite taxes, I was still making pretty good money. I was happy. Until HR got involved with my vacation. Do what works for you. Set boundaries if you want to stay. If you want to leave and try something different, then do it. Make yourself as expendable as you want to be. Don’t let them dictate how you feel about yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. So much there to learn from and your experiences in this field. I just don’t want it to keep taking over my life. I’m going to stick to my guns and set boundaries and sort myself out. It’s just getting to be a lot some days.

        The more I read from what you’ve said the more I think I’m right to put myself first and not let the guilt take over anymore. Maybe I need to go work in another sector for a while. It seems tough all over here and honestly I only like what I do I don’t love it. I’ve got a lot orlf research and career guidance to look into now


      9. Just so you know, every sector is rough no matter where you are. You just gotta find what works for you right now. If you don’t love what you do, is it because you’ve never loved it? Is it because you’ve felt undervalued for so long? Is it because you’re just burned out?

        These are important questions. Answer them as honestly as you can, and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what is going to come next. Maybe not a detailed plan, but at least knowledge of what or will not be a part of the future.

        And you are more than welcome to ask any question you want. I’ve lived a lot of life, and worked in many fields that are similar to what you’re doing. And those questions I asked for you, I have answered yes to all three of them at various points in my career. And I can tell you, those are the first three questions. Answer them. If you know what comes next based on the answers, you’re a step ahead of most. If you are unsure of yourself or even of your answers, feel free to ask me anything you need to/want to. I would be happy to help if I can

        Liked by 1 person

      10. It could be a mix of all of the above to be honest I don’t know really. That’s where I’m at now just gotta figure out my answers and then I’ll know I guess. It’s like a quarter life crisis at the crossroads moment but I may come a Knockin with some questions but I’ll just have to see where I land and what I decide on, it’s kind of exciting at the same time


      11. You’re more than welcome with your questions. but the ones I asked you were not meant to be answered in a moment. THINK about those answers. dig deep. Otherwise you’ll never have a direction and you’ll just bounce hopelessly. Really think abut those questions. See what your answers really are. You don’t have to make a post about it or tell me or anything. Just take the time to figure out the answers for yourself. You’ll have a much better idea as a result of that. And don’t answer them emotionally. Rational deep thought only. Emotion will make you make stupid choices that you will regret. It FEELS right (believe me, I know) but it’s not. It’s…a stupid choice. Rational choices only., If it takes you a while to rationally be able to answer than so be it. take that time.

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