What can I say about this beautiful soul that isn’t cliche.
All words that come to mind seem so trivial and underwhelming.
To me Eva is a masterpiece, a beautiful spirit who sees my flaws and weaknesses and loves me because of them,not in spite of them.
Her bright eyes,
That smile that makes me feel as if I’m something more than what I see in the mirror
No judgement and no badness
She’s made me feel like I’m more than what I see,
More than what I think
I couldn’t write and think the same way again,
I’m different now,
I’m more gentle, at least I feel that I am
I feel safe to say anything that comes to mind, the darkness and the pain now seems trivial to me,
I see I’m more than what’s happened to me in my past,
I view life as chapters in a book,
The book of my life
There’s happy chapter’s,
Confusing and twisted chapter’s too.
But the chapter’s that she shares with me are some of my favorite and if I’m lucky enough I’ll have at least a few more before I start knockin on heaven’s door.
Sometimes life puts a beautiful soul in front of you.
I’m lucky enough to realize this, at least I think I do anyway.
I feel like the Luckiest bastard in the world at the minute.
Even now when I’m sad or depressed or over thinking I know there’s an amazing person there for me no matter what and that’s more than I thought I’d ever find.
Maybe I’m naive and childish to feel like this but as long as I feel ready to take that leap of faith and take the risk I know I’m alive and unafraid.
The name alone sooths my soul,
Makes me feel whole
I feel like thanking god or a god or someone but maybe it’s just the road I’m on maybe it all led me down this path
All the shit and the pain was all leading me to this amazing person.
She’s dark and mysterious
She’s who I love
She’s seen me at my best and worst and viewed me without judgement,
She makes me believe again,
She’s one of a kind and if I lived a million years
If I lived a billion years
If I ever live to be normal, I’ll never find another Like her.
To me she’s love,
anger and beauty in human form
She’s become my rock,
Now I just gotta stop thinking it’s too good to be true and all a mirage.
Maybe some people do get lucky and find some love,
Maybe there is someone out there who sees you for all your virtues and all of your failures and loves you for the effort you make.
I sit here tonight in my mother’s house,
Everyone’s in bed,
The house is quiet, Charlie is napping on the couch and he’s such a beautiful little dog. His paws tucked under himself like a cat on the couch as his little snores make me smile every few minutes
I feel lucky, I feel lucky in love
Maybe all the pain and sadness I felt was there to help me appreciate the goodness when I saw it.
Maybe that’s the romantic side of me looking for logic in the chaos but I don’t care. I just feel, I feel
Honestly, feeling is enough some days. As I said earlier the words themselves aren’t good enough, they don’t sum up how I feel entirely.
As I sit here and contemplate I’m left with a feeling of optimism.
It’s as if I’ve gotten a hug I didn’t realize I’ve needed for a long time, that’s how I feel. As I said the words aren’t enough.
Eva’s a feeling to me, a special concoction of chaos and love that doesn’t happen very often and I feel like I’ve done something right to be a part of her story.
I just hope I’m at least a good chapter or two in her own book