#164 – Splendid Isolation

The world keeps getting smaller

We’ve been isolated for over a year now but when it’s forced upon you it’s not the same feeling of escapism

Bukowski felt better when people weren’t around and I don’t know if that’s the case,

I love people and being surrounded by familiar faces but sometimes I just want to leave mid way through a visit and listen to music and be away from everything.

I think I just need time to be alone and think, think about anything, everything. Overthinking will be my downfall. I spent a lot of time by myself when I was younger, turns out I enjoy my own company.

Self sabotage and invasive thoughts often find their way into my head. I think that’s why I check out any time I like but I can’t ever leave. Now the goddamn Eagles are in my head.

Those walks alone are some of my favourite. More than the sweet feeling of time to myself it makes me appreciate those around me. The sun bursting its way through the trees. Birds chirping and water flowing. You want to feel grateful for our world you listen to Bob Dylan and walk.

I listened to Warren Zevon say “except in dreams you’re never really free”. I can’t deny the sentiment of what his words of wisdom. Maybe if I keep searching I’ll find that feeling.

Some moments I feel completely free. Then I remember my work, bills and responsibilities in my life. I’m realising that life is constant peaks and valleys and what matters above all else is how well we handle the shit and the piss life throws at me. When I’m out there by myself the pressure and stress seems to relent long enough to enjoy my view.